Around thirty percent of Americans say they are currently using a dating app. You can hardly blame them, dating is hard these days — especially since COVID hit — and there are many different ways to meet people online.
Unfortunately, using a dating app doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to find the person of your dreams. Don’t let your next significant other fall out of your grasp due to easily fixable slip-ups.
This article will walk you through the most common dating app mistakes, and what you can do to fix them.
1. Not Seizing the Moment
There’s no doubt that matching with someone on a social media website is exciting. Even if you don’t consider yourself a particularly “sexy” person, someone might fantasize you just based on the adrenaline rush of getting a new match.
But that initial spark of sexual and romantic chemistry doesn’t last long. You have to make sure you seize the moment and message your match as soon as possible. This allows you to two to both experience each other at the height of your attraction and increases your chances of meeting up.
2. Poor Writing
It’s very easy to slack on writing in your text messages. You’re not writing an essay after all, and the realm of text isn’t really optimal for linguistic communication. In fact, text messages have always been a breeding ground for slang, abbreviations (lol, brb), picture messages, and even gifs. This is because while written, the culture of text messages makes it more similar to oral communication.
However, this isn’t quite helpful when the person you know doesn’t know you in real life. That oral culture of text messages is largely based on the inflections, body language, and voice of people you know in real life. With texts, generally, someone sends you the gist of what they mean, and you can infer the rest.
When you meet someone online, you need to make sure your writing is spotless. Your syntax and grammar should all scan perfectly, and your messages should stay clear and concise. What your friends might view as a simple typo, can be viewed by a potential date as laziness.
3. Staying Online
This is one that we sympathize with wholeheartedly. When you match with someone you’re attracted to, it’s very easy to start messaging them right away — and well you should. You two might hit it off and have a great text conversation.
However, unlike meeting someone in person, it’s a whole other board game to meet up in person. Your mind will encounter that mental block when you think about meeting them in person — it’s like meeting a person twice. This leads many people to keep their relationships online for too long.
To make matters worse, it’s already considered a step on dating apps to ask someone for their number. The process of matching, then asking for a number, then asking to meet up with someone in person is a lot. However, it’s important to remember that no relationship can truly develop online.
If you find that your matches slowly fizzle out over time, there’s a good chance it’s because you’re keeping those text conversations going on too long. While being a good texter is key to online dating, don’t let your online skills stop you from showing what you can do in real life.
4. Too Much Too Soon
When you’re getting to know someone online, the temptation can arise to share some things about your personal life.
No one can blame you for this. On many dating websites, you’re matched on criteria of — sometimes very specific — information, and often share a few things about yourself in your bio. Because of this, it’s easy to trick yourself into thinking you know someone that you only met a day or two ago.
The problem is…you don’t. If you spend excessive amounts of time thinking about someone on a dating site and looking at their profile, you can develop something like a parasocial relationship with them. This can make you feel as though you’re their friend, even though you don’t know each other.
By revealing too much too soon you might think that you’re simply progressing the relationship, but to some people, it can come off as creepy.
5. Not Getting Specific
Perhaps the reason for your lack of online dating success is simply the fact that you’re not getting specific enough about what you want. If you’ve found yourself going on tons of dates that just don’t seem to be going anywhere because of missed connections, and even developing shallow relationships that fizzle out, you might want to use a dating app that gives you more of a sure shot.
The are many dating apps out there that let you narrow down the field. There’s no shame in wanting to date someone of your race, ethnicity, or religious beliefs.
It’s not prejudiced to look for someone like you. By understanding that you share a common ground, you lay a foundation for a concatenation of romantic events. You two can easily hit it off about your similarities and quickly move to other topics.
ChristianMingle is perfect for Christians looking to connect in an ever-secular world, Black People Meet is great for black singles looking connected, Jdate provides a similar service to Jewish people, and there are even sites out there for armenian dating.
Fix These Common Dating App Mistakes
Whether you’re new to the world of online dating or consider yourself a seasoned veteran, it’s easy to fall for common dating app mistakes. Make sure that you seize the moment, write clearly and accurately, meet up with people in real life, exercise restraint, and get specific about your desires, and you’re far more likely to find the date of your dreams.