When you’re in a serious relationship, it can feel like things will last forever. Unfortunately, if that relationship doesn’t last, you’ll typically feel lost and alone. You might even feel like you’re not sure of your own identity as an individual anymore.
However, it’s important to remember that your true self is still there. It just might take some time and support to rediscover who you really are.
No matter how painful your breakup might have been, you can still find peace and start the next chapter of your life with a full understanding of who you are, what you need, and what you truly deserve.
Let’s cover a few tips that can help you get through the grief of a major breakup and discuss how you can find yourself again as you move on.
Ending a Relationship the Right Way
Going through a breakup is never easy. You’re still going to experience the grief that comes with a major loss. However, it will be better for both parties involved if you end things amicably. Far too often, people wait until things get hostile — or even toxic — in a relationship before calling it quits. If you and your partner know that things aren’t going well, your communication is lacking, and your feelings have faded, you can still end things on good terms.
Practice empathy and show respect when you finally have that “breakup discussion.” Pick the right time and place, don’t place blame, and understand that no matter what you have to say, you won’t be able to control their reaction. Ideally, you’ll reach a mutual understanding and you’ll be able to end things with some semblance of positivity.
Unfortunately, things don’t always end that way. If your relationship doesn’t end amicably or on good terms, it can be difficult to get through the grieving process. It’s even harder when you live with that person since you have to handle moving out and starting over. If that’s the case, keep the following tips in mind to make the moving process a little easier on yourself:
- Set your priorities for items you want to bring with you;
- Schedule alone time to move;
- Lean on your support system;
- Create a moving budget;
- Carve out time to find a new place.
Moving out of a shared space can be extremely painful. However, it’s important to look at it from a perspective of positivity. You’re giving yourself a clean slate and a fresh start. When you find a new place to live, decorate it to fit your personality and sense of style, and surround yourself with things that truly make you feel at home.
Reconnecting With Your Favorite Hobbies and People
It’s not uncommon after leaving a long-term relationship to wonder who you are. Your identity may have been rooted in your relationship for so long that you’ve stopped engaging in things you once enjoyed.
Now is a perfect time to reconnect with those old hobbies and passions. Not only can doing the things you once loved help to distract you, but it will encourage you to rediscover the best parts of yourself. If you don’t want to dive back into those old activities, consider trying something new that will boost your well-being, like:
- Exercising;
- Taking an art class;
- Learning to cook;
- Reading;
- Journaling.
In addition to reconnecting with the things you love, this is also a perfect time to reconnect with the people you love. Having a support system after a big breakup is crucial. Whether you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to remind you why you’re great the way you are, spend time with people who care about you — it will be easier to move past your breakup.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends and let them know you’re thinking about them. Express gratitude to the people in your life, and connect with them as often as possible, whether it’s meeting up for coffee or getting on Skype to chat regularly.
Practicing Self-Care
Self-care is always important, but it’s easy for it to take a back seat when you’re going through a breakup. Self-care looks different for everyone. Rather than buying into the idea that you have to do something expensive and luxurious for yourself, focus on doing something each day that reduces your stress and makes you feel more in tune with yourself. Your self-care routine could include things like:
- Meditating;
- Creating art;
- Spending time outside;
- Prioritizing sleep;
- Eating a healthy diet;
- Taking a long bath.
The better you take care of yourself, the more you’ll start to recognize your true value. You’ll boost your self-esteem, and you might even start to find the confidence to get back out into the dating world again. Going forward, you can use what you’ve learned to cultivate healthier relationships — in your community, workplace, and even dating pool once you are ready.
For now, focus on being content with who you are and where you are on your journey. If you’re really struggling, consider reaching out for professional help or joining an online support group to boost your confidence and your sense of self-worth.
Finding yourself after a breakup can take time and effort. It might feel like your world is crumbling right now, but it won’t be that way forever. Keep these suggestions in mind as you navigate the next chapter, and you’ll learn to love yourself more than ever.